In our fast-paced world, we seldom stop to consider the magnitude of words. Don Miguel Ruiz, in his bestseller "The Four Agreements", opens a window to Toltec wisdom, revealing how four simple agreements can shape a life of greater happiness and love. Among them, the principle of being impeccable with our words resonates with unique strength, reminding us of the creative power of our internal and external voices.
But what does it really mean to be impeccable with our words? At first glance, we might think it refers to how we interact with others, at least that's what I thought, that it was about how I spoke directly and indirectly with and about others. But no, the essence of this principle lies in the way we talk to ourselves. Impeccability refers to an absence of sin, not in a religious or moral sense, but as any act that goes against oneself. Every time we judge or blame ourselves, we sin against our essence. Thus, being impeccable means speaking to ourselves with love and assuming responsibility for our actions without falling into self-punishment, that is, without judging and blaming ourselves, transforming our internal dialogue into a haven of acceptance and understanding.
Our words have the power to build realities or destroy spirits. It's not for nothing that the words "abracadabra", coming from ancient Aramaic, have been heard in children's tales to perform magic and spells, meaning "I create with my words", reflecting the creative power they have, serving as a reminder that every word spoken or thought has the capacity to influence our life and those who hear (or read) them. This power manifests not only in the love we can spread but also in the inadvertent harm we can cause when we are not rooted in self-love.
You may be confused about what self-love has to do with being impeccable with words. Let me clarify it again because it must be as clear as water. Being impeccable with our words implies starting by not harming ourselves with our words, and this is only achieved if our self-love is sufficient, authentic, and solid. When we lack self-love, something very common in today's world, it is reflected in how we talk to ourselves. But since we have learned to be very tolerant of the way we mistreat ourselves, we can also observe it in the way we talk with and about others.
If you've ever had the fortune of spending time with a baby, with a 2-3 year-old child, even 4 and 5 year-olds, I'm sure you've never heard them say, "how stupid I am, I fell again" or "I can't dress myself, I don't do anything right, I'm not good for anything". Young children love themselves completely, and it's the language of all the adults around them, their parents, older siblings, teachers, religious authorities, and the media that speak to them in such a way that they start to lose that self-love.
You see, words are like seeds, and our minds are fertile soil. If my parents, out of ignorance of what I explain here and because they surely experienced the same with their parents, spoke to me or said destructive words to me, if they were not impeccable with their words when talking to me or when talking about others in front of me, then all those seeds were planted in my mind that grew over time, each one taking away a little more self-love and then begins or rather, continues, the vicious cycle of the misuse of words and the lack of self-love.
Let's remember for a moment the atrocities committed in the Second World War when just one person (Hitler) with obviously zero self-love convinced an entire nation and more to commit the atrocities they committed, with the use of his words. And that is just one example of thousands of situations in which the use of words became one of the most powerful and dangerous weapons.
Instead of taking advantage of the incredible and powerful creative power that words have so that each one of us can mold our desired reality filled with love and happiness and create together a world that today seems to be utopian, we are allowing and fostering the use of this great power in a very negligent way. It would be the same as if we gave AK47s to all the 10-year-old children in the world and told them to go out and play. But because it is not as evident as the use of guns and weapons, we are not as concerned as we should be about educating the entire world on these principles.
Today, with the omnipresence of the internet, our words can reach unsuspected corners of the world without needing to show our faces, which makes it even more dangerous. Think for a second about the rhetoric you read and hear today, spreading words of hate and intolerance without any responsibility or consequences. It is a very worrying and dangerous thing. That is why I want to share some practical actions we can adopt to adopt impeccability in the use of our words:
1. Self-observation: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself throughout the day. Do your words build you up or tear you down?
2. Conscious change: When you notice negative internal dialogues, redirect them towards positive affirmations, have patience and compassion towards yourself, talk to yourself as if you were your own child, with love.
3. Think before you speak: if you are going to talk about someone who is not present with someone else or in front of other people, first ask yourself if what you are going to say is useful and contributes something to the person who will listen to you and if you would say it in front of the person you are going to talk about. If the answer is no, do not say it.
4. Digital responsibility: Before posting or commenting online, reflect: do my words reflect love and respect? Could my words have harmful consequences for someone? Is it necessary for me to express myself in that way? What do I gain by saying or writing something that does not come from love?
Everything we say that does not come from love only reflects what is inside us, so before contributing to the spread of negativity, let's look inside ourselves and focus on building our self-love. That way, our minds, our gardens will not be fertile ground for the weeds that are born with words of hate and fear. The more I love myself, the less harm others' words do to me and the less harm I do to others with my words.
On this journey towards impeccability, let's remember the extraordinary power we possess and use our words as instruments of love, transformation, and connection. Because to the extent that we love ourselves, we extend that love to the world, creating waves of positive change that begin with the echo of our voices.
Until next time ✌🏼, please be kind to yourself and others. Think before you speak. You are super-powerful 🦹🏻♀️.
Kindly consider sharing this, as it holds the potential to shield individuals from harm and prevent them from causing pain to others. It's vitally important to nurture greater awareness and understanding of our most profound and impactful superpower: the ability to create and transform through our words.
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