A few days ago, I experienced an unusual situation when I coughed and felt a spasm in my body, similar to those experienced by older adults due to age. It was something quite strange, the instant my body made the effort to cough, I felt as if a cable was disconnected and I experienced an intense pain in my back. Every time I sat down, bent over, lifted something or lay down, I felt pain.
As the days went on, the pain lessened but did not go away completely. I decided to try muscle relaxants, as I didn't know what else to do. After about two weeks, I seemed to have forgotten about the pain, but suddenly I started to feel pain in my neck during the night and woke up with terrible stiffness in my neck. I could not turn my head sideways or back and forth.
The pain was so intense that I felt a strong pressure in my head, in my skull, as if someone was applying great pressure, and I also felt hot. Again, I thought that the pain would heal with time and that in a short time I would be as good as new. Before going to sleep that day, I took another muscle relaxant and miraculously I was able to sleep, but when I woke up I was even worse. My neck was tighter, my back was more spasmed and my headache was much more intense.
I then decided to contact the masseuse I usually talk to when I want to treat myself to a massage or pamper myself with a relaxation session. Before starting, I asked her if the session would be like a normal massage or if she would focus only on the spasm. She replied that the first and most important thing was for me to relax in order to work on the spasm, and so we would start with a "normal" massage.
At that moment, I thought that I would be much better off if she was there to give me a normal relaxing massage and not to treat crippling pain. It was then that I remembered that all the symptoms, illnesses and accidents we experience in our body convey a message to us. I decided to take control of my own treatment.
I asked myself what my body was trying to tell me. What was the role, function, purpose and intention of that spasm? Was it perhaps related to the previous time I coughed and pulled my back? Did I not pay attention to it at the time and did it get worse until it got my attention?
The answer was clear: yes! It was evident at that moment when I repeated in my mind the following sentences and the answers gushed out like water from a waterfall.
"I am Linda's spasm and now that I have a voice, I can say that my role in Linda's life is... to make her relax."
"I am Linda's spasm and my role in her life is... not to allow her to enjoy herself."
"I am the pain Linda feels and now that I have a voice, I can say that my purpose in her life is...to always make something wrong."
And finally, "I am Linda's spasm and my purpose in her life is... to cause her pain so that she can heal."
Wow! I couldn't believe it, could it be any clearer than that?
Why didn't I allow myself to relax? Why did there always have to be something wrong? Why did I always have to experience some kind of pain? Why was there always something to fix, heal or cure?
The answer was that this was what was most familiar to me. It was what my mind considered safest and most familiar.
In that precise moment of clarity, I said no more!
I know that I always do my best with what I have and from where I am, and that is enough.
I don't need to wait to achieve something to reward myself with a massage. Relaxation and self-care are part of my identity right now. I choose to be a person who treats myself to massages regularly because my body needs to relax to compensate for the daily effort I put into exercising, to balance my daily work and to take care of my mind and body.
That moment of relaxation and taking care of my body is as necessary as sitting in front of the computer to work, it is as important as giving a course, an RTT or coaching session, or studying. It is part of my weekly routine, and from now on, I will do it feeling good.
I have learned a lot and I am grateful for all the challenges I have overcome to get to where I am today. I am grateful for all the illnesses and symptoms I have healed with the power of my mind, which has proven the influence of my thoughts. I am grateful for all the painful moments that have allowed me to grow and transform my life, so I can help others transform theirs.
Today, I assume the identity of someone who enjoys every moment of his life, of someone who welcomes challenges with love and gratitude, and of someone who solves problems with simplicity and a positive attitude. Today I allow myself to enjoy, to rejoice, to laugh and to live, not just survive.
Today I allow myself to thrive, and you?
Think about it, and see you next time!
Comments