The Double Standard of Addiction

We celebrate some, condemn others… but all of them hurt, all of them hide pain, and all of them need to be talked about.

What happens when an entire society is addicted and no one sees it?

When I started university and became an adult, I gained access to many things I didn’t have before—freedom, independence, responsibilities... and also addictive behaviors. I started smoking and drinking, and although I didn’t see it that way back then, it’s clear now that I did it because feeling was hard.

No one taught me how to feel. How to process pain. How to hold discomfort. And honestly, there were many things I didn’t like about myself. So I learned to pretend everything was fine. To hide my sadness. To cover my pain with a strong smile.

Over time, I realized I had fallen into many forms of escape. None extreme, none out of control, but all with the same goal: not to feel.

Today, I don’t smoke or drink, but I still notice that tendency in more subtle, normalized ways: the phone, sugar, overstimulation. And I’ve realized I’m not alone.

We live surrounded by addictions disguised as habits, as success, as self-care. Some get judged harshly, others are rewarded. Some disgust us. Others we celebrate with a glass in hand.

But they all hurt. They all disconnect. They all bury what’s underneath.

The Pills No One Questions

If you watched the last season of White Lotus, you probably liked Mrs. Ratliff. And if you paid attention, you saw her popping lorazepam like mints. No shame. No concern. She even jokes, “It helps me sleep… or survive.”

What sounds funny in fiction is real life for millions.

Lorazepam is a pill used to calm anxiety, help you sleep, relax the body, and in some cases, control seizures. A doctor can prescribe it, and yes, it’s legal. But it can also make your body and mind so dependent on it that quitting causes physical and emotional withdrawal.

And like lorazepam, there are countless other medications involved in a silent prescription addiction epidemic: clonazepam, alprazolam, diazepam, zolpidem, among others.

Even when prescribed, they’re not always taken to heal. Often, they’re used to numb, to avoid, to survive. Like I did. Like my dad did. Like millions still do.

Each with their own “cocktail” of choice.

Alcohol: The Most Celebrated Addiction in the World

It’s legal, socially accepted, part of every ritual, every celebration, every heartbreak.

We drink to celebrate, to cry, to toast, to remember, to forget, to flirt, to sleep. And if you don’t drink? People wonder what’s wrong. They give you a look. They insult you—because yes, calling you a buzzkill is an insult. But more than that, your “no” challenges their “yes.”

And nobody wants that—especially not at a party. So they pressure you to join in.

Alcohol is so normalized, we don’t see the damage until it’s too late. We praise the ones who “can handle it.” We ignore the ones who “go too far.” We shame the ones who “hit rock bottom.”

And when someone tries to quit, they’re not just fighting the substance. They’re fighting a society that pushes them to keep drinking. That rewards it. That excludes them if they stop.

Hard Drugs and Marijuana

Then there are the “hard” drugs. The ones no one wants to talk about. The ones that lower voices, raise eyebrows, end conversations.

But sometimes, those are the last resource for someone who just didn’t want to feel anymore.

And on the other side, there’s marijuana. Totally normalized for some, completely shamed by others.

Ironically, many who judge someone for smoking weed are the same ones who cheer the weekend binge drinker.

Food: The Silent Addiction

Did you know 40% of people turn to food to manage their emotions? And over 70 million people suffer from eating disorders? Yet no one talks about it.

Because it’s easy to hide.

You won’t binge in front of others. You’ll wait until everyone’s asleep. And if you purge or spend seven hours at the gym, no one will know. And if they do see you at the gym… they’ll probably praise you.

Unless you’re on My 600-lb Life. Then they’ll see it. And be disgusted.

Because when it’s visible, we judge. We shame. We use it as a warning sign.

And we also don’t talk about the addiction to not eating—the obsession with thinness, the fear of food, the punishment of hunger.

Eating disorders often hide addiction too: to control, to escape, to hold on to the one thing we feel in control of.

Work: The Celebrated Escape

The only addiction we reward.

It earns you titles, raises, praise. But at home? It creates absence, silence, distance.

Working nonstop doesn’t always mean ambition. Sometimes it means avoiding. And while the world applauds, families feel abandoned.

Shopping, Gambling, and Tobacco: The “Fun” Addictions

How often do we say “I deserve it” while buying something we don’t need? How often does the thrill of gambling matter more than winning?

These addictions hide in plain sight. They look glamorous. Even empowering.

But maxed-out credit cards and sleepless casino nights carry pain too: anxiety, guilt, loneliness.

And let’s not forget tobacco. Millions still light up to calm nerves, avoid conflict, fit in. Even with the warning on the box.

Cigarettes are another form of anesthesia. So is the modern version: the vape.

Vapes smell like candy. They feel harmless. They’re everywhere—cars, restaurants, even sacred spaces. So we barely notice.

But they are not harmless. Just too new to see the full damage.

I’ve seen people smoke two vapes at once. Because yes, it’s addictive. Yes, it’s an escape. And yes, it’s already damaging bodies and young minds.

Phones and Social Media: The Most Modern, Most Common Addiction

The newest. The most normalized. And possibly the most widespread.

No one’s safe—from babies to adults (maybe not grandparents).

It’s not just Instagram or TikTok. It’s picking up your phone every 3 minutes. It’s scrolling without thinking. It’s avoiding the present moment.

Studies say we check our phones 80–150 times a day. Why? To escape boredom. Emotions. Reality.

Phones are the perfect distraction. They’re clean. Acceptable. Don’t smell. Don’t get you arrested. But they disconnect you—from life, from others, from yourself.

And no, I’m not free from it yet. But I’ve quit cigarettes. I’ve quit alcohol. And each day I use my phone less… I feel more alive.

At least now I know when I’m reaching for it just to not be here. And that, is already a win.

What Do All Addictions Have in Common?

They are all poor solutions to the same deeper issue: pain and trauma. Fear of feeling one’s emotions, not being able to confront one’s reality, not being comfortable with one’s self.

We use them to silence discomfort. To avoid boredom. To dodge pain. To distract from truth.

But in avoiding the hard stuff, we numb the joy too.

And the more we run, the further we drift from ourselves.

What Does It Really Mean to Be Sober?

If this hit too close… that’s not a coincidence.

Many of us have lived that way. Numb. Busy. Escaping.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Sobriety isn’t just for addicts and it’s not just about quitting. It’s a choice to not engage in any addictive behavior. It’s choosing to stay. To feel. To be.

I am not a “recovering addict”, but I am choosing to stay sober, not because I hit rock bottom. I’m choosing not to drink, smoke, or engage in any other addictive behavior because I want to be present.

That kind of sobriety—the one that isn’t about labels or praise—is the greatest gift I’ve given myself.

It’s not easy. Sobriety means being awake. Feeling boredom without fleeing. Sitting in discomfort without covering it. Allowing silence without rushing to fill it.

But it also means this:

Laughing louder. Loving deeper. Dancing harder. Noticing the sunlight through the trees. Crying out of gratitude for a perfect moment… in the middle of the ordinary.

Sobriety isn’t abstinence. It’s connection. It’s presence. It’s life, unfiltered.

And from the moment I tasted that… I don’t want to escape. I want to stay. And live it all.

I’m not writing this to judge anyone. I’m writing it because we’re all in this.

As long as we keep normalizing and praising some addictions we’ll stay stuck in the same loop: avoiding, numbing, silencing pain.

Maybe the answer isn’t cutting everything out. Maybe it’s starting to see. To choose. To stay. To feel.

Because that’s where freedom begins.